What are you doing might be the most boring honest question in texting, mostly because the honest answer is rarely worth typing out. I have watched people freeze on this exact question more times than almost any other, not because they don’t know what they’re doing, but because admitting it out loud feels weirdly embarrassing. … Read more
I’m bored is the laziest opening line in texting, and also the easiest one to win. After nine years behind a bar, I watched it land on someone’s phone a thousand different ways, as a complaint, a hint, a dare, sometimes just noise to fill a quiet five minutes. What follows is not a stack … Read more
What’s up doesn’t ask for much, but it still wastes a beat of momentum every time someone answers with not much or nothing. After nine years of watching bar regulars stare at this exact text wondering what to send back, I’ve sorted the real options into something useful: clever replies to what’s up that fit … Read more
Funny good morning and good night replies are easy to overthink because the same two words can mean something completely different depending on who sent them and what they are actually doing. A good morning from your best friend is a habit. A good morning from someone you have been thinking about all week is … Read more