Most people answer “how was your day” with fine, good, or a one-word shrug dressed up as a sentence. The person asking already knows how to be bored. These 75 clever responses give you something they can actually follow up on, whether the day was genuinely good, quietly awful, or exactly the same as yesterday. … Read more
What are you doing might be the most boring honest question in texting, mostly because the honest answer is rarely worth typing out. I have watched people freeze on this exact question more times than almost any other, not because they don’t know what they’re doing, but because admitting it out loud feels weirdly embarrassing. … Read more
I’m bored is the laziest opening line in texting, and also the easiest one to win. After nine years behind a bar, I watched it land on someone’s phone a thousand different ways, as a complaint, a hint, a dare, sometimes just noise to fill a quiet five minutes. What follows is not a stack … Read more
What’s up doesn’t ask for much, but it still wastes a beat of momentum every time someone answers with not much or nothing. After nine years of watching bar regulars stare at this exact text wondering what to send back, I’ve sorted the real options into something useful: clever replies to what’s up that fit … Read more
“I’m fine” is not always a lie. Sometimes it is just a sentence with nowhere left to go. After nine years of watching people answer that question on autopilot, usually behind a bar where the real answer came out twenty minutes later anyway, I started keeping track of what people actually meant when they said … Read more
Someone asks how you are, and your brain goes blank exactly when you wanted to sound interesting. This breaks down funny answers to “How are you?” based on who’s actually asking, because the line that works on a close friend falls flat on a coworker, and the one that’s safe for a coworker reads as … Read more